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John McCain Accepts Republican Nomination

by David L Pierce

Senator John McCain proudly accepted the Republican Presidential nomination Thursday night, September 4 2008 at the Xcel Energy Center in Saint Paul, Minnesota.

McCain thanked his family and supporters, and made it clear that he respected his Democratic running mates, Senator Barack Obama (D-Ill.), and Senator Joe Biden (D-Del.). “There are big differences between us,” McCain explained, “but you have my respect and my admiration.”

Pro-choice protesters interrupted McCain as he introduced his running mate, Governor Sarah Palin. “Please, my dear friends,” McCain grinned, “don’t be diverted by the ground noise and the static!” He defended Palin’s experience, amid growing skepticism, by noting she ended corruption and balanced the state budget in Alaska.

McCain had harsh words for his own party, claiming that Americans lost trust in the Republican Party due to corruption, and promised a new party future. “The party of Lincoln, Roosevelt and Reagan,” said McCain “is going back to basics.” He said he’d veto pork barrel earmarks and reveal its author. “I will make them famous,” McCain said, adding “you’ll know their names.”

He promised to lower taxes, cut government spending and develop a better healthcare system, while claiming Obama will do the opposite. The crowd applauded as McCain announced his energy plan, which included immediate offshore oil drilling, more nuclear power plants, and alternative energy sources. “Senator Obama thinks we can achieve energy independence without more drilling and without more nuclear power, but Americans know better than that.”

Foreign policy was also a major issue in McCain’s speech. “I know how to work with leaders who share our dreams,” McCain said “And I know how to stand up to those who don’t.” McCain explained that he hated war, and that he would use his experience to build an enduring peace.

McCain recalled his experience as a prisoner of war and praised his fellow American prisoners, explaining that they fought for him every day. “My country saved me and I cannot forget it,” McCain said. “I will fight for her as long as I draw a breath so help me God.”

At the conclusion of his speech, McCain’s and Sarah Palin’s families joined them on the stage. An endless sea of patriotic-colored confetti, balloons and beach balls fell from above. McCain passed Palin a beach ball after it bounced off of her head.

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